Dealing with teens
ISocial Changes. Because of their physical and mental growth, adolescents are no longer treated like children. The expectations adults and peers have of them change and their behavior changes. Thus the social world in which they live changes in important ways.
One of the most obvious social changes is the beginning of serious interest in and interactions with teens of the opposite sex. They have to learn to handle the emotions and behavior that go along with these relationships.
They also experience a change in how adults treat them and talk to them. It is often in a more adult manner. They are also seeking more independence. They are given more privileges that were reserved for adults like driving and working. However, they may feel they should have even more privileges and these may become areas of conflict for parents and teens. Parents may feel frustrated with the perception that teens want more freedom but not the responsibility that comes with it.
These changes lead to typical traits of teenagers. Some of these are:
Concern with being popular. The teen is trying to find out how worthwhile he or she is in the eyes of peers. Having friends means that he has been accepted. Teens spend more time with peers because they have similar tastes in music, dress, activities, dreams, and goals.
Challenging the way things are. Teens will challenge the rules and reason of parents, teachers, and the world. This is part of their intellectual growth and trying out new ideas and possibilities.
Express concern about how they look. They feel that everyone is looking at them. They are concerned with their physical and hormonal changes. Are they fitting in with their classmates? They now can imagine what other people may be thinking so teens feel as if they are living in a display store window and everyone is watching them.
Having friends you may not approve of. They are exploring new relationships and ideas these friends may have.
Influenced by peers. Teens will look to their peers for norms in dress, drugs, alcohol, and sexual behaviors. However, research shows that teens are strongly influenced by their parents in moral issues.
Belonging is very important. Having friends during early adolescent years is valuable as children are trying to develop acceptable social skills. They are relating to other teens in different ways than when they were younger.
Need privacy. Teens need time to think as their intellectual capacities increase and they are faced with new ideas and challenges. The changes they are undergoing physically often lead them to a need for privacy.
Moodiness. With the rapid changes going on in physical, social, and intellectual growth, they may be concerned with how they are doing. Their hormonal changes are a great factor.
With all this going on, is it any wonder that they forget to take out the trash? It may be important to us but it is certainly low on their priority list.
During adolescence teens experience rapid physical, social, emotional, and intellectual development. Problems may arise because parents do not change their parenting style. Treating a teen as a young child - not taking into account his/her intellectual growth and ability to think through a situation in a way that was not previously possible can belittle the teen and cause conflict. He or she is also seeking more independence. Instead of mandating rules, including the teen in discussion of some rules can help them in learning to work through problems and arrive at solutions that may involve compromise. Remembering all the changes teens are going through and following these steps can improve the parent-teen relationship