Dealing with Divorce

Dealing with divorce is difficult. There is often a lot of hurt, a lot of regret and even a lot of fear. Not only do you have to deal with your own emotions and stress, but you have your children to think about as well. As a father, it is important that you remain in your children’s lives while you are going through a divorce. Do not use your children as pawns to hurt your wife; this will harm your children more than it will satisfy your need for revenge. Assure your children that you love them by taking an active role in their life.


While you must make sure your children’s needs are met, it is also important to make sure your own needs are met. Going through a divorce can put a tremendous amount of stress on you as you try to work out the details of your divorce, including child custody. It is usually a good idea to hire an attorney to help you through this time, especially when your role in your children’s life is at stake. An attorney should give you the peace of mind that you so desperately need, as they may be someone who can help protect your interests.

Not only do you need to make sure your interests are protected and your rights upheld, but you need to make sure that you have a support network of people to help you through this difficult time. When going through a divorce it is a good idea to find a support group or even a support person that you can lean on—you will need them in the days to come.

Support groups for people in a situation similar to yours can be found online, through local churches or even through friends who have gone through a divorce. If a group is not for you, consider talking to a pastor or religious leader or confiding in a friend that you trust. Going through a divorce can turn your world upside down; find someone who can help you keep things right side up.

As the divorce process proceeds, make sure that you are taking care of yourself. This is as important for you as it is for your children. Continue working and doing your normal activities. Give yourself time to grieve the dissolution of your marriage, but do not allow that to affect your health and well-being. Be sure to get plenty of rest and eat healthy meals through this difficult time.

Finally, you may want to start hanging out with friends that are upbeat and help take your mind off your current situation. A good laugh with a good friend can go a long way.

Divorce is never easy and there is no one correct way to handle a divorce—everybody is different. What is important as you go through your divorce is that you do what works for you. Realize that you are not alone and keep your children’s needs at the forefront of every decision you make. While divorce is never a happy ending to a marriage, it is an ending to one chapter of your life and the beginning of a new one.