TOP TEN DISCIPLINE PRINCIPLES by Dr Sears |
1. GET CONNECTED EARLY
Discipline is grounded on a healthy relationship between parent and child. To know how to discipline your child you must first know your child. This kind of knowledge resides deep in parents' minds. You could call it intuition, but that term has a kind of mystique that confuses parents. ("How can I trust my intuition? I don't even know if I have any!") The term "connection" is easier to understand. With the high-touch parenting style called attachment parenting, you can build and strengthen this connection between you and your child, laying the foundation for discipline. Connected parents become their own experts on their own child, so they know what behavior is appropriate to expect and how to convey these expectations. Connected children know what behavior parents expect and make an effort to behave this way because they want to please their parents. Together these parents and children develop a style of discipline that works for them. We describe the tools for connecting with your baby and young child so that you can read your child's behavior and respond appropriately, so the two of you can bring out the best in each other.
2. KNOW YOUR CHILD. These are the three most useful words in discipline. Study your child. Know your child's needs and capabilities at various ages. Your discipline techniques will be different at each stage because your child's needs change. A temper tantrum in a two-year-old calls for a different response than it does in an eight-year-old. Know Age-appropriate Behavior. Many conflicts arise when parents expect children to think and behave like adults. You need to know what behavior is usual for a child at each stage of development in order to recognize true misbehavior. We find discipline to be much easier with our eighth child than it was with our first child, mainly because we now have a handle on which behaviors call for instruction, patience, and humor, and which demand a firm, corrective response. We tolerate those things that go along with a child's age and stage (for example, most two-year-olds can't sit still very long in a restaurant), but we correct behavior that is disrespectful or dangerous to the child or to others ("You may not climb on the table"). (more)
