Techniques for Disciplining
Raising our children to be responsible, hardworking, fun-loving adults is a great task, indeed. There is no manual to help us do it. There is no way to predict the future return on our effort and once we have perfected our technique, we have another child who is completely different than the first. Discipline can be a frustrating thing for both child and father.
When disciplining your child, it is important to realize that every child is different and responds differently to different consequences. Having an arsenal of techniques to help shape your child’s behavior is necessary as a father. Some of the most common techniques for correcting behavior are spanking, time-out, grounding, and taking away privileges. There are several different methods for using these techniques based on your child’s age. This article will discuss some those techniques.
Spanking has received a lot of criticism for its aggressive nature and possibility to get out of hand. If you plan on using spanking on your child, it should only be for extreme circumstances. Since spankings can be intense, it is important that they be used cautiously. Never spank your child when you are angry. Small pats on the bottom are often useful with young children who do not have language skills and are behaving inappropriately or in a way that poses danger to him or herself. In these instances, spankings are used to show disapproval of a child’s actions and startle the child, not hurt the child. Spankings become less effective as a child grows older and can even be a source of resentment as your child grows up.
Time-outs are an effective method for toddlers and younger children. For time-out to be effective, you must use it judiciously and consistently. If your child is put in time-out for every minor mistake, time-out will lose its effectiveness. Likewise, if you do not put your child in time-out consistently for the same type of behavior, it will lose its effectiveness. To use time-outs, you should designate a time-out area in your home. This may be a corner, a chair, a mat, or a step—anywhere that removes your child from activity and gives them a specific boundary. Children are usually placed in time-out for a specifies amount of time that is related to their age. For example, if your three year-old is placed in time out, they would have to sit there for three minutes. After your child has met the time requirements for their time-out, it is important that you discuss the child’s behavior and make sure they understand why they were placed in time out. Apologies are usually a requirement to get out of time-out.
Grounding is useful for older children who have privileges outside of the home, such as visiting friends or involvement in extracurricular activities. Grounding prevents a child from participating in activities outside of the home for a certain period of time; that period of time is usually based on the severity of the misbehavior and can range from one day to weeks. While grounding can be an effective tool to provide consequences for an older child’s misbehavior, keep in mind that when you ground your child, you ground yourself, too. This may not be a bad thing, though, as you and your child will be able to spend time together that you might not have had otherwise.
Taking away privileges is another technique that is useful with older children. Children may have privileges such as staying up later than younger siblings, playing video games, talking on the phone, or watching television programs. Taking away some of these privileges sends a clear message to their child that their behavior was inappropriate. This technique is similar to grounding, except children may still be able to participate in activities outside of the home. For younger children, taking away privileges can also be effective. For example, if your young toddler has a favorite toy and is misbehaving, you can take away that toy and place it in “Toy Jail.” Toy jail is a place that is visible to your child, but unreachable. In this way, the child The toy should stay in toy jail for a designated amount of time and then be given back to your child. For young children, it is important to do this immediately after their misbehavior so they understand the consequences for their actions. Waiting any period of time after an incident of misbehavior can confuse a young child.
No matter what technique or combinations of techniques you find to be most effective, it is important that you discuss your child’s behavior with him or her. Discipline does not speak for itself; you must talk to you child about acceptable behavior and expectations. It is also important to reassure your child that you love them.
If you are having a hard time finding a discipline technique that is effective for your child, keep trying different methods until you find one that works. For more tips on age appropriate discipline techniques see http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/249.
